Justice& freedom are not western products.

First I am going to write some lines about what Bryan said in the previous post. There is a lot I want to say..about the west and us. About how the west see us and treat us.. I will write about this...But not quiet yet. I have to gather strength and thoughts first. In the meanwhile..To any Bryan who might read this: Do me a favour and read some documents about the Israel-Palestine confict, by someone who is not Jewish or Israelian, or even American! there are plenty of documents by quiet neutral experts..and read as many articles as you can HERE : http://www.robert-fisk.com and why not see the pictures too.

Our opinions and feelings about the west, are complex. We have a lot of pepole who worship almost everything from the west..They respect you much more if you are educated there and, everything from the west is better accoring to them. Pepole say about almost eveything here " If we were in the west..Pepole would have been better..Places would be clean..Work would be better, pepole would invest in and take care of their countries, and make money out of it..This place would be rich and nice..etc etc etc..." Some even try hard to change their skin and "become" westerns, but usually only in a superficial way, not more.
They want to say to all the pepole : Look, I am not like all the loosers in this place, I am western..I Think like westerns do..I am so important and so much better!!

Yet on the other hand, a lot of pepole see that any western influence at all is an influence by the devil, and the west is not muslim. And we have to keep our good eastern and muslim traditions. Usually they are very conservative, fearing that any change at all might be from the west and is a threat to islam and good traditions.

On the political level, however..The absolute majority here, fear any action by the west on this place. We hate what the western governements did, and still are doing, in this place. Specially Usa. (No need to even mention Israel.)
The absolut disgusting thing in this crazy place is that when pepole here demand democracy and freedom.. And these pepole, are called -and can not be called any thing else, in this place, when they demand that- opposition. Even if they are not at all.
The disgusting thing is that they are called pro-western/ western opposition, and even collaboraters, with the west..(and Usa and Israel-who occupies our land, our enemy, are part of it) .They are called traitors.
And they are attacked on many other fronts...On the religious front, They say that when we demand a strong independent parlament , media...etc we are demanding what is going on in the west today. Our enemy...The devil! So...Saying things like that get a lot of conservative poor pepole- with no real acess to other voices/ media they can hear and coompare- scared and convinced: Democracy must be different from, and so it must be against, our good religious traditions. Haram.
Not even thinking about how Today's so called politicans and what they are doing are mabe even less religious, but yet are tolerated ?!
Now these pepole who dared to demand such things,the so called opposition, get scared...They don't want to be looked at like western traitors. They get silenced. They loose the game.

But you see..here is my problem...I just can't understand..Why this obsession with the west, by all sides!!?? Who ever hates them, loves them or what ever!..
This has nothing to do with the west! It is about this little place, not about Usa, Or England, or any where else...not about Burkina Faso, or Thailand..or SaudiArabia..or what ever..It is about this place, right here, right now!

In so many asian and even african countries democracy exists too...Why not talk about them if we must talk about democratic countries?! Why only the "enemy"?!It's not about the west..It's about this place and pepole here!
I don't know why some of these brave intellectual voices, act like if democracy, a fight for freedom and justice, is purly western and nothing else! It is like if we are savage animals who never struggeled for justice, and only westerns did! ..But that is not true! Read our history instead of only the west's!

Ofcousre, some here who have a lot to loose will say :" Don't complain..We are better than countries like North Corea, or Somalia when it comes to democracy..And many other arab countries are just like us..Why be different?"
But so what?! Do we have to wait for all other arab countries to get democratic first? But what if they are waiting for us?! And So what if North Corea is in a worse state? It's not about North Corea!..Nor the west!
..Besides...Why on earth CARE about other places anyway?! If democracy would die tomorrow in the west...Does that meen that we have to never again dream of it untill it rises there again?..Hell no..Even if it would die there we should still demand democracy here...

Natural born dictators

I and my father were sitting watching the news on tv. Drinking sweet tee. Like usual Syrians.
Both with our own mountains of anger, unjustice feelings, and bitterness in this poor rotten place to live, crushing our chests. Allthough my experiences are nothing to compare to his.. Watching the arab news does'nt really help the mood ofcourse.

I said bitterly: I wish I could remove the filthy [part of] memory of us young arabs. Let us get reborn like humans this time and have a different future than this pitch black present!
[ removing all these dark age thoughts making us to be proud of (!)living like pre-viruses million years ago, and that, in the name of relgion and traditions(!), and having violent traditions, etc etc]
He answered me something about it won't be enough. I need to do that with their parents too or otherwise they will turn them back to what they where.

But let's just stop my black bitterness a while , we all know we got problems. Really bad. Just like so many Syrians, I was bitter, felt very alienated in my own city, there was no hope here. No future. And I felt there is nothing that holds me back here..I could'nt care any more. When I calmed down I realized how things just get worse when young pepole loose their mood and moral like this, it is so dangerous not to care any more..Since we are living dead like this. As we have been, for many years...I was wondering : How and why did we end up like this??

Let's start with the begging: We learn to obey our parents to any price and respect them deeply. As we should, belonging to good conservative respectfull families. It means: Do not ever dare to disscus with them, when they give you orders, they are always right even when they are wrong. Learn to blindly obey them and cancell your [disrespectful] opinion and independet thinking. You are not permitted to use your dangerous mind yet. You are younger and smaller so you are weaker and your words worth almost nothing. And you, the smaller weaker, will be beaten up by the bigger.
Same goes for teachers when you go to school. And they also can beat you a lot and it doesn't even matter if it was your fault or not. If you try to explain that means you dared to discuss, you unrespectful, and you get twice as much beaten and humulated in front of all your freinds. And don't you dare be disrespectful and look UP in the eyes of the teacher, as if you are daring to show her anger or protest you animal, you keep your eyes and head DOWN..[where you belong]. And you might be spared on teacher's day if you bring good gifts!
Back at home : Yoy are helpfull and respektfull to your parents, your mother is a good wife who takes care of your father, respects him and obeys him. Oh and by the way in Syria thank god women live like queens and suffer no discrimination compared with men, and everyone in the family is drowning with love and care. Your stressed mother forgot the required amount respect in her looks to her loving mother in law, then your bigger wiser father reminded your weaker crying mother about respect. And you ran away out of respect for your father's angry red eyes. Your wise parents allready know what you should study/ do when you are older. They know best.

In the school you learn to respect and love your country and leader It means your leader, and learn every word he ever said, and remember he is eternal...and you can look UP to his pictures and statues covering the city from DOWN where you belong. And you sure as hell learn to respect him, he seems more loved and powerfull than god.


Beeing youngster, You learn to stay at your room,you are allowed to study, obey your parents, do not meet with devil (other sex).They know best who you should marry and the rest of YOUR life with, And if you are a girl,( living like a queen here thank god), do remember your loving parents might kill every atom in your body and get away with it..They know best who you should marry..And even take honour in it!So Respect and obey!

I know I might have exaggerated a bit, but not that much...Now...With this impossible weight of attempts to deny your rights, deny your right of independant existence, attempt to fight nature, you get used to this sort of life. You can't wait untill you get your hands on some one weaker than you, so you can finally have some power! There is a power and control absolut hysteria!! and generations inherit it as it goes on.
And so...Our great proude, eastern conservative socities , are so true ( Asileh) and great. And with this great healthy tradition of hearing and accepting the other opinion,and Respect, thank god no human rights are horribly violated in Tadmur, mazeh, seidnaya, ..No officals are using their power to steal from and oppress the pepole, no neighbours are stealing electricity and phone line from others, no pepole are throwing their garbaga at the common streets or neighbours' garden, no strong rich pepolr are playing with the cheap lives of poor,and the situation here has nothing to do with the law of jungle were the stongest rules...etc.



I don't beleive any one is born a killer, or a dictator...but with the "right" attitude, and in the name of (!!!!!) the holy unbreakable traditions and religion...We can raise a whole country.
I sound quite pessimistic...I admit that. Not all the pepole are like that, but I feel really there are too many...And I think I have the right to explode, some times.
And if there is any foreginer reading here : I meant what I wrote hear, but don't make a jugment too soon though... Syria has a bit of everything..

A girl's fight to walk in her city.

It's not easy to try to be an independent girl here.
Even if my family is quite liberal, the problem does'nt end there. A while ago it was nice weather, and I have been spendig a lot of time inside, reading, and doing other things I had to do. When then finally I had some freetime I wanted desperatly to enjoy it. I wanted to get out of the appartements's walls. I wanted to enjoy my city and go on a long walk. Enjoy this little temporary freedom. My father agreed on letting me go , alone, seeing I allready made my desicion, and no one wanted or could accompagny me. But he did'nt like it: Me walking alone.
But that is what I wanted. I was tired of the family's shouting and wanted to find some peace, alone.
So I walked. Alone. Feeling very free and happy. But in some crowded areas, I was bothered.
In Salheie for example a couple of young men fowllowed me for a while, practising (a bit agressive) "taltish"(=hitting )on girls.
That sort of thing happens all over the world, young men attracted to women and trying to get in contact with them. So...I should'nt get too upset..
But no, there is some thing else. They where very (too) persistent, allthough it was clear I was angry at that. They followed me for a long time before I could loose them. These young men, their looks..They where poor, very poor, no doubt, dark skinned, have been outside often, alot, I am guessing they have spent a big part of their time outside, on the streets. Wearing very old sweaty thin funny coulorfull shirts. They did'nt really have a plan walking in the city..They had nothing to do... A big possibility they where poor unemployees. After beeing very angry at them, I felt sorry for them. When something bother's you it's very important to see it from the other side too. These poor, men who looked almost like beggars..
They are ...Young men..Yes...No matter what, they,
in this spring time of their lifes, need girls' company desperatly. It is nature, as strong as a hurricane, no religion nor poverty or conservative society can ever ever brake it..And what are their chances of getting that ?!...So poor, simple, no job, probably no education..How easy will it be to find a bride here?..Since relations are banned in this conservative society..Mostly, to get approved a coulpe need to be engaged or married. Impossible for so many young Syrians with the horrible unemployment and economy. So living without any contact with the other sex..against nature..leads to a psycological sexual crisis, and they get mad like if they never seen a girl before..Which is a little true in conservative socities, and there are too many...
And as they act like crazy sexually starved men, even liberal families get scared and hide their dotters at home. And with even less girls that men at least can look at and dream, the problem get worse and the men get even more obsesst. And on it goes...
This conservative stupid way of thinking is the reason for all troubles here, instead of accepting nature and letting women go out with men and search for love and grow up emotionally ,(and just ask dotters about boys they like and when they have a relationship the family can invite the man to meet him..and even meet his family, so they feel safe!), instead of that pepole insist on living in dark ages,making things go from bad to worse..
Pepole fight over the length of women's skirts or other clothes, while nobody is fighting for a dying lifeless Syria, and over 250 million arabs insisting on living in the dark ages,in the name of religion and traditions!, and still wondering(!!) why they are defeated by so few -free- pepole , and occupied, erased, killed, and hungry, poor, weak..
I wish I wrote thist in arabic!
And as for me....I am too a citizen of this city, and I have as much right to walk on it's streets, alone, just like all the men walking in it. And I am not going to give up that right!

Suffocating terrifying news

Soon there might not be Aljazeera or any other free satellite channel in Syria...Or they just won't be free any more...NOoooooo!...Why take that away from us?! God damn them..God damn them!
http://www.thisissyria.net/levant5.html#1
Forbidden
"

وللأمانة فقد حاولت الحكومة برحابة صدرها المعهودة أن تغض الطرف، لكن الشباب زادوها، فكل يوم ثورة هنا ومظاهرة هناك، والعالم يغلي ويفور مثل طنجرة حليب موضوعة علي النار، وكان لابد من حل، ولذلك وبعد سهر ليالي، وحك رؤوس، ونقاشات طويلة تفتقت الأدمغة العبقرية عن التالي، الأنترنيت وحلينا مشكلته، فنصف مواقع الأنترنيت محجوبة في سورية، وأكثر صفحة تظهر علي شاشة كومبيوتر المواطن السوري هي الصفحة البيضاء المروّسة بالكلمة الانكليزية (Forbidden)، ولم تبق إلاّ هذه الفضائيات بنات الكلب، الحل إذاً أن نرخص لشركات الكيبل، مع تطمين المواطن بأن له حرية أن يبقي طبقه الشخصي اللاقط علي سطح بنائه، ولكن هل المواطن السوري أهبل أو (بريالة) كما يقول إخوتنا المصريون، ليدفع اشتراكاً شهرياً أو سنوياً للكيبل، مادام يستطيع أن يركب دشّاً شخصياً له يتنقل بين قنواته بحرية كاملة بمايعادل المائة وخمسين دولاراً فقط، وعندها سيقف المسؤول عن جمالية المدينة في كل محافظة سورية علي سطح عالٍ ليقول: عيب هذا المنظر، أنظروا إلي غابة الأطباق اللاقطة القبيحة علي أسطح البنايات في سورية، إنه يشوّه جمال مدننا، ثم يعود إلي مكتبه ليصدر قراراً بإزالة هذا المنظر القبيح، والسبب جمالي بحت، وبهذا تكون الحكومة قد وصلت إلي (حجة الوداع) لقرارها الاعلامي البريء، وعبر الكيبل نستطيع نحن أن نتحكم بالقناة التي نريد للمواطن السوري أن يشاهدها، وحتي ببرامج القناة؟.

وإذا كان هناك من يري استحالة التحكم ببرامج قناة فضائية فهذه مشكلته، لكن التجربة العراقية أيام حكم صدام حسين أثبتت أن ذلك ليس ممكناً فقط بل وسهل أيضاً، لأنه وببساطة يتم استقبال القنوات الفضائية من قبل الحكومة التي تمنتج البرامج غير المناسبة، وتختصر نشرة الأخبار إلي الربع، ثم تعيد توزيع هذه القنوات علي المشتركين متأخرة ساعة عن موعد بثها، فعبر مشاهدتي الشخصية في بغداد وجدت أن قناة (الجزيرة) ممنوعة في الكيبل العراقي، بينما الساعة الاخبارية لقناة (أبو ظبي) تبث متأخرة ساعة عن توقيت بثها من الحقيقي، وتختصر مدتها لربع ساعة، وقس علي ذلك.. وفي هذه الحالة ستكون مشاهدة تلفزيون (استقبل وودع) الرسمي مجاناً، أرحم من مشاهدة القنوات الفضائية الممنتجة عبر الكيبل باشتراك مالي.

هل هذا ما تريده الحكومة السورية من قرارها الإعلامي الانفتاحي البريعالم عربي بلا فضائيات
حكم البابا (كاتب من سورية) – القدس العربي 14/4/2005

Another blog, but different?

There are allready many Syrian and arabic blogs..But I hope to be able to offer a new point of view.
Unfortunally I will write in english and not arabic, I don't have arabic on my computer or an arabic keyboard.

In Syria the majority of the population are young pepole, yet you don't hear them often talk about the country or politics, in a country like Syria it's not a myserty.
It's easier to hear them talk about new songs and celebrities, or you just don't hear them at all..
I am trying here to clet my little voice be heard as a young Syrian female.